Life is short

I am not yet sure how to put all I feel into words. That will come later I am sure.

I posted earlier that Devon, my nephew, passed this morning, but was hoping the second boy, Wesley, would somehow pull through.

Sadly, he was declared brain dead this afternoon after suffering a major stroke late yesterday afternoon.

No need to comment, just a small offer of prayer for their parents and those who were close to them.

It has been a sad weekend, but one that has proven that common cause humanity does exist, and also that our belief in invincibility can be severely tested.

Be safe, and always strive to expect the unexpected.

Its finally over

Yesterday afternoon late, Devon was declared brain dead.

A decision was made late last night to donate his organs.

At 6am this morning they shut down the respirator and took him away.

He is now a hero by saving others' lives.

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Wesley is deteriotating after showing signs of improvement. Yesterday afternoon, he had a stroke which has been a major setback.

Just to clear up a misunderstanding - this is not the same Wesley I often talk about. My Wesley has been very supportive, sending me texts of support right through the night.

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Thank you everyone for the kind words in comments, mails and tweets.

Some prayers sought...

Please pray for my nephew, Devon, and his friend Wesley, who were both involved in a motorcycle accident earlier today (Friday).

Both boys are in ICU on life support. Wesley is showing signs of movement, though he has severe head injuries, while my boy Devon is relying solely on life support for now. They have placed a drain in his skull as there is a lot of swelling and bleeding on the brain still.

Devon is 14, and Wesley 17.

They are in extremely good care, and while we all took turns to hold his hand and have a quiet chat, the doctors are still fearing the worst.

A little Update

So I have pretty much moved all my stuff over to my mom's place. It has been emotional, as any move is for me. I really despise change.

Hmm... updates..

My youngest daughter surprised all of us by changing her relationship status to "in A relationship" on Facebook lol. So last week we (Wes, Ali, the two girls and I) were out for a drink. We all made a big thing about her being the only one in the group that was actually IN a relationship, making her the centre of attention for the whole evening. It was good to see her basking in the limelight for a while. She is normally in the background. I had previously briefly met the said object of her affections - a cute shy boy two years her senior (she is 12 lol).

So today (on MSN), she told me she had been dumped.... poor child. Ah well, she still has the stalker who lives across the road, and Joe, the West African boy with the sexy French accent. The joys of being pre-teen and running hormones.

On Saturday, Wes and I joined a mutual friend and his gf at the (almost) local casino for a show. The first half was a cabaret type thing with live band and amazing dance routines - our mutual friend and his gf are competition ballroom/latin dancers. The second half was a stand up comic thing, which was pretty good. The host was far more entertaining than the headliners though....

Chatted for a bit to Chris today (almost passes out from longing for his body which was once against mine). It's his birthday tomorrow and he has invited me to his birthday bash on Saturday. I have my kids this weekend, so I am still trying to figure out how I am going to do this..... I really miss him. I met him online a few years ago, and we developed one of those amazing online relationships which culminated in us meeting and spending a few unforgettable days together on my brother's farm....

He recently moved pretty close to me about three or four months ago, and we have seen each exactly once. And it was a chance meeting at the opening of a new gay venue in my area. We ended up snogging on the dance floor. We were both drunk and also were at the venue with dates'.......

So I am thinking of persuing this.......

Had a drink with Iain tonight. It's been a while, and was good. A few good laughs as we tried to figure out whose future death would make as much noise as MJ's. We figured on Nelson Mandela, Oprah, Obama, Prince William.

Maybe's were madonna and Clint Eastwood. Other contenders were Paul McCartney, Johnny Depp, Britney, Drew Barrymore and any of the current Harry Potter lead actors.

Personally, Elijah Wood, Tom Selleck (don't ask), Brad Pitt, Shaun Pollock, Micheal J Fox and some others would send a wave of emotion as well.

And as usual, the requisite bad jokes abounded. My favourite of the night was a pick up line: Come and tell Pinocchio a lie...

I guess you had to be there....

So where has Sethy been?

Yeah I have been a little quiet lately. Some things have happened.

I mentioned before that if no work came along, I would be okay till the end of June. So the end of June has come and gone, and though I have been doing the odd thing here and there, major cashflow stuff has been lacking.

I wrote a nice letter to my landlord letting them know that I can only make half my rent this month, and would have to vacate at the end of July (14 days notice in stead of the required 30 days notice). Their answer was to cut my electricity - effectively evicting me by cutting off utilities in the middle of winter.

So they're not getting my half rent after all, and I have started moving out. My mom and I have been discussing my moving back 'home' for a few months already, so this has just fast forwarded our plans somewhat. We alread have submitted plans for a two bedroomed cottage which we planned on starting in the new year, but for now, I have moved back into my old room haha. The last time I spent more than a few weeks in this room was in my teens.

My mom shares the house with her sister, and we have all been a little concerned about their security living on their own here, so actually there are some happier siblings around. I always knew that I would be the one to look after the old ducks as they become more needy. It's something that I have accepted and don't mind at all.

But, on the positive side, there have been some movements on the work side. I have an interview of sorts later next week, and I am quoting on some work later today.

Of course, older brother is all full of lectures... but I expected that. I guess I have never been a long term planner like he is. It's just the way I am built.....

And I do miss Torchy! But I guess he has priorities too. I try to keep up with reading at least, and will try comment as I go. The internet connection isn't quite as good here yet until I get it all sorted out, but I will keep posting albeit a little more sparingly.

Weird night out

So Craig calls me earlier in the week and says Joe is trying to get hold of me. Wants to discuss a photo shoot of some sort. So I call Joe and he is cagy about what he wants done, and invites me over to discuss. Now I have the kids because it is holidays here, so we all went through last night after establishing that his own younger daughter would be there for company while we talked.

Weirdness....

It was all about catching up the thirty years we haven't seen each other. Joe was the first guy i ever wanked with lol. We were eleven, and it was in the bath at his house when I spent one night at his place. We also competed for the same gf at some stage, and there was some resentment for each other for a while. Joe needs to win. Every time, and in everything, always. I guess he disliked me cos he lost out to the German girl (who now lives four houses down from me and is a lesbian hahahaha!)

Ah well, so we just talked and talked and talked. he has become something of a shady character over time. I guess he was something o the school bully in his time - though as we discussed last night, even though I was the gay boy even in junior school, no-one ever picked on me. I just was never an easy target. My mouth was a formidable weapon - still is lol. It was the same in high school. I could hold my own, as long as it never involved violence.

As it turns out, he has become one of these 'born again' christian types, and although he tried on several occasions into a debate on Christianity (while smoking a joint and drinking a beer), I wasn't going there.

It's not that I am a-religious - I am anti the church going hypocrisy that goes with it. One thing we did agree on though, is that the Christ message (as it appears under different guises in various 'religions') is what is commonly known as the New Commandment - Love your neighbour as you love yourself.

I believe very strongly that 90% of our human issues today come from not following this simple edict. The secret though, is first to be able to love yourself. Without that ability, 'loving' your neighbour becomes hypocritical.

But that's just my thoughts.

And we never got to talk about the photo shoot.....

Catemba

... is a drink made from red wine and cola - usually Coke.

It's delicious and refreshing served with plenty of ice. It's usually better with a slightly higher ratio of wine to coke.
However, it is highly dangerous.
It tastes like cooldrink.
It kinda creeps up on you.
And suddenly you are very very drunk.
Little brother and I finished two 1.5 litre jugs of the stuff last night.
I slept very well.
And awoke at 5am, my body requiring vast amounts of rehydration.
But no hangover lol....

Actually it was a cool evening out. He called and asked if he could buy me a drink on their way home from having lunch at another really great seafood place.

They were with a bunch of people, most of whom I knew. Introduced to Brian, who I thought quite attractive until he opened his mouth. He made some really racist remarks which got brother and I on our feet together.

He never said another word for the time that he was there. Cunt. I hate stupid fucks like that.

My sister-in-law was all emotional (too much wine earlier I think). Was crying on my shoulder. She had to bury and old friend a few weeks ago.

Then she said that brother and I are like twins. When we don't see each other we get depressed.

She's right.

Random post I guess.....

Happy Birthday

... to Simon who says he is twenty-two today. I don't for one moment believe him (my guess is sixteen).

And I had a good day. One or two good decisions were made.

In a good place right now.

Header Pix - 4

21/22 - Coming of age...

Finished up my two year military conscription.
Moved back in with Trevor.
I guess I didn't really fit in anywhere else.
Dated my future ex-wife on and off.
Worked in the US for nearly year (Boston Mass)
Trevor spent a few months with me there.
Was so terribly home sick.
Was accused of sleeping with the boss by her husband. (not true) (ewwww)(no offence Vicky)
Came home lost.
Moved to the coast and opened a photo lab with Trevor.
Had a brief period where I thought I would marry stalker girl
After my oldest brother's wedding, Trevor and I once again had a huge fallout.
My mother hinted that whatever was going on, it's not good for me, and I should come home.
A few months later, I put everything I owned into my old car and drove the 1500km back home.
I thought it would be the last time I would be starting all over again.
Lol... I was wrong.

Niagara Falls

Horribly long hair

***

Was supposed to be productive today.
But I wasn't.
Hate my life right now.
It sucks.

Weekend Away

Just a quicky...

So Wes, Marky, MG and I headed off to the bush for a little getaway weekend. MG met us there as he had to come from work in a different direction.

The little 'resort' is basically in the middle of nowhere. It's a gay bois only place - pretty much the only place like it within 500km. Yes, there are a couple of others, but they are nudist/cruising spots - something we were not interested in. This is just a relax spot where gay guys fom all walks of life can feel comfortable and get away from the big cities.

Anyway, because of the weather I guess, we were the only guests for the weekend.

They have a new chef, who delighted in experimenting with the new menu with us. Amazing food for every meal. The cabins were very very basic. Just a wooden structure with a tin roof; double bed and toilet/shower. At least there was hot water.

On Friday night we partied with the owner, the chef and 2 str8 guys. The one is a supplier that stayed for drinks, and the other is the cute barman. He is the nephew of the (gay) owner, and clearly loves his job (and the attention). The four of us ended up in the jacuzzi to keep warm.

That night, we froze our balls off. Marky and I shared a cabin and practically slept on top of each other to keep warm. We were more organized on Saturday, and managed to stay warmer without spooning (too much) lol. I swear M thought I was going to 'take advantage' of him lol. He is so not my type though.

On Saturday, we drove around the small communities in the area, just stopping off at the little farm stalls to check out their fresh produce and home made jams and stuff. We were all mightily hungover, so spent the afternoon watching TV under the heaters and blankets in the entertainment area. We also watched the Lions thrash the Boks (grrrr). A fairly quiet and early night for us all.

Sunday, we were served an enormous breakfast, had a few more drinks, then took a slow drive home. Had a glass of wine with Wes and Ali before heading to my place. An early night and a good sleep.

I have tons of work to finish today, but really not in the mood lol.

Hope all the US guys had a great 4th!

Some pics...

Did a bunch of this

MG is cute lol...

Yeah, I know, it's a mess...

I will be away for a few days

This weekend, Wes, Markymark, MG and I are off to a gay resort for the weekend.

They just mailed us to say that it coincides with a special they are having for under thirties and singles.

Woot!

lol.

It was never intended to be a weekend with sex as the main theme, or a theme at all for that matter.

I wonder how that will change after a bottle of Red.

Markymark is sharing a room with me (two single beds). I think he is nervous lol. He has no reason to be. Though he is one of the nicest people I know, he just isn't on my radar. I hope he doesn't mind if I bring someone into the room haha....

I can only dream.

And Torchy! is well, I mailed him and got a reply. He has been away in an area with little data signal, but promised that he would be posting later tonight.

Header Pix - 3

Ah 18.... a year of change and evolution.
My final year in high school.
I received honours at school for academic achievement and got to wear a white blazer and brag a bit.
I never went to school much though.
Completed my Private Pilot's licence.
Was the youngest twin rated pilot in the country. Ever.
I started smoking.
My boyfriend and girlfreind both broke up with me.
My bf said he wasn't gay (yeah right - best kisser in the wrold - ever)
My gf said she was tired of waiting to be 'intimate'
They went to the prom together.
I went with... umm... I forget her name.
Trevor threw me out of the house after a VERY heated argument where we both threw a lot things.
I never told my mother, instead I arranged to move back as a boarder, paying my own way.
My Biology teacher put me up for a week without asking questions. I am eternally grateful.
People who I thought were my friends never offered the same.
I finally felt free and my own person.
I went home after final exams for the first time in nearly eighteen months.
Three days later, I was on a plane to London to backpack around the UK.
The photo is a self portrait on a train somewhere in the south of England.
I never wanted to be gay.
I got a blowjob in the camera obscura in Edinburgh two weeks later by the hot sudent conducting the tour.
I left feeling very confused.
After I got home, I was conscripted into the military.
I excelled in all my courses and became a weapons instructor, then later an instructor on anti aircraft missiles.
I shot down a helium balloon with a missile.
I shot an escaping prisoner in the leg.
I don't think he likes me very much.
I'm still a pretty good shot, though my home (and life) is a gun free zone.
I had a secret wild sexual affair with a high school boy I met in a restuarant on a weekend off.
My car's back seat would never be the same.
I still didn't want to be gay.
I met my future wife briefly through a friend.
She rode a motorbike.
She wrote me tons of letters.
I came out to my military buddies seventeen years later.
They were indifferent about it.
I wish I had come out much earlier.

Header Pix - 2

So at sixteen.
I moved from being a boarder at high school to living with Trevor.
In addition to school, I worked 6 hrs a day in his photolab.
I did up to three weddings (photography) a weekend.
I paid for my skydiving obsession with this money.
Our team won the National Championship that year.
My dad died on a motorcycle.
I tried to commit suicide, but the gun never fired.
So I packed some stuff and fucked off for several days.
My mother asked me why and I couldn't tell her it was because he was fucking me.
She sent me back to him.
My older brother beat me up for making my mom cry.
My little brother changed high schools because they were taunting him about his gay brother.
He only told me the reason this year.
I was very sexually active.
I had a girlfriend and a boyfriend at the same time.
Someone said to me I had no choice: I was gay and nothing could change it.
For twenty years I tried to prove him wrong.
I started doing my pilot's license.
I bought my first car (A 1972 Renault 12TL).
The pic was taken at a hot springs resort for whites only.
I had just taken aerial pics of the resort for their brochure.
We stayed for free.
When the little guy in the pic turned 31 (thirty-one for those pervs who read thirteen), he told me he had a fantasy of me fucking him.
I obliged.
He thinks the FBI is after him.
He uses too many drugs.
His father beat him when he young.
I was at the top of every one of my classes.
But it wasn't a good year.
I have huge missing memory chunks of this period.