Reputations

My parents divorced when I was about seven I think - anyway, it was early enough not to have many memories of him actually living with us. He left my mom with $20 and the mortgage on the house. My mom had never worked before and her first job after he left was with a conglomerate as a telex maching operator in the mail room. Yes, a TELEX machine lol. Anyone remember what that was? She ended up staying until her retirement a few years ago - but not as a telex operator obviously.

She met my stepdad at work, and for some time, she was having an affair with him while he was still married. They ended up spending twenty-five years together until his death a few years ago. I always thought him to be an asshole. He wasn’t fond of kids, and we are four boys in our family.

As a result, we were all sent off to boarding school as soon as we were of highschool age. My oldest brother coped well in the environment, but brother number two hit the weed in 9th grade and mixed with all the wrong crowd. As a result, he was expelled from the school, and ended up living with mother for a year before returning back to the boarding school in the year I went into high school.

No-one remembered the good reputation of brother number one, who was a first team rugby player, a diligent worker and a prefect. I was left to fend off the reputation of brother two. It took me two terms, and top of the class scores to even begin making a reputation for myself. And this only really once brother two was finally expelled for a second time after a drunken insult to a senior master. My own reputation as ‘the gay boy’ caused my little brother so many problems, that he begged my mother to allow him to move back to our home town and attend a local school and live with my grandmother. I only found this out very recently, and feel bad about it still. I honestly did not know how deep the ‘rumours’ went in terms of my sexuality.

I had a secret (very closet bi) boyfriend in Gr11 and some of Gr12. When Aiden broke up with me, I was devastated. At the same time, I had a public girlfriend, who I adored, but on a different level. We were Mr and Miss Couple. I think Aiden in some sick way, confirmed the rumours that were already spreading among the boys that I was some sick pervert to be stayed away from in the showers that was later to cause major stress in little brother’s life. Hell, even I though I was some sick pervert. But by then, I was already damaged goods. Thanks, Mr peadophile. Girlfriend broke it off with me a few weeks before our equavilent of the Prom which takes place fairly early in the year, and went with Aiden instead. Yeah, dig the knife in and twist it.

That was about the time I tried to commit suicide. But that’s another post…