Dinner and some grovelling

So I mentioned earlier that through doing something silly, I ended up hurting my best friend. The something silly is unimportant, but I do forget sometimes that we all mean different things to different people, and our actions have consequences.

So after swopping a bunch of mails and texts yesterday, I invited W out to dinner last night. It was just amazing...

I took him to our favourite Portuguese restuarant (he doesn't eat Sushi so that excluded my all time favourite place lol). We each had a large grilled sardine for starters, then grilled calamari for mains. He had the steak, while I opted for tubes peri-peri style. A good bottle of Red wine in between, and Irish coffees to end.

We just talked and talked and talked......

I surprised myself by opening up to him about things I had never really gone into any depth about. The weekend with Patrick opened a few old wounds (not that Patrick knew), but it also made me rethink a lot of things on a personal front.

He surprised me by referring to me as his 'bestest friend in the whole world' to someone who called him while we were having our coffees..... a kinda boyish cute thing to say in the context of his otherwise sometimes over mature attitude to life.

We talked at length about the blogosphere, and about some of the characters around here. He keeps his own blog, but neither of us want access to the others' for fear we may self censor in the process, and that's not the point here.

W and I started out as lovers. We met through an online dating site nearly three years ago now. We were blown away by each other. But as we became closer, he pulled back. I was really hurt at first, and for more than a year I battled with accepting that this was never going to be the long term lover I dreamed of.

But somehow, we have just remained the best of friends. We have supported each other through a lot of stuff. He now lives much closer to me, and we still want to buy a house together. Not to be together as lovers/partners, but to share some parts of our lives, share resources, that kind of thing. I thought at first it was an age gap thing, but in reality, it has never been an issue. I understand now why he pulled back, but that's not important here. We see the same therapist, so have chatted a lot about our sessions.

He looks and acts older than he is, and I look and act younger than I am. We are often taken as being just a couple of years apart when in fact there is a fourteen year gap. My kids adore him. So does my mother lol.... She was shocked about a month ago when he came to visit me at mother's house on his birthday and she found out how old he really was. She thought he was close to mid 30's, when in fact he just turned 28.

His parents like me. A lot lol....

His younger brother is incredibly hot haha! There's a funny story behind that, but this post is already too long.

I am just glad to have met him and have him in my life, to have someone I can discuss my life with, to share stories of lovers and friends, to have a shoulder to cry on, to BE a shoulder to cry on. Even if he asked, I could never be his lover again. And for that I am somehow glad. I don't ever want to spoil what we have now.

We will always have Breakfast at Tiffany's