The things that change us

We can all look back in our lives and remember incidents that have changed our life courses, or simply changed our state of mind. They may have been small incidents, a thought, a look or a smile. Some are more traumatic.

This is one of those incidents. I am going to make it short, because the incident itself is something I would prefer to forget, but how it changed my life for the better will remain for me always.

It was the 4th of July lol... 2000.

I had returned from the bank to my home office with a bunch of cash to pay subcontractors. We had a security system. Eight foot wall, electric gate, security doors, alarm system etc etc.

I opened the house, then my office and checked mails. Took the laundry from the machine to hang it on the line. My wife was at work, and kids at daycare. When I got to the laundry area, someone with a knife took me from behind. There were two of them, I never got to see their faces. I was tied up with packaging tape, blindfolded in my bedroom. Anything of value was loaded into my van. Electronics, PC, clothing, bedding, all the cash of course. I was loaded into the back of the van with one of them. It had a canopy with frosted windows because I frequently carried a bunch of expensive equipment around with me. We drove to a gas station. I was made to give up the pin numbers of my cards, they drew what they could from the ATM, filled the van with diesel, and we were off again. I thought they would throw me out somewhere, or my body of course.

We parked somewhere in a garage or building, and stayed there for two days. After that, we went on a joy ride, me still in the back with all my stuff. The tape had been removed from my body, and new tape around my face. A rope replaced the tape around my body, as it was slowly coming loose. They went from town to town, stopping for booze and basically drinking away the cash.

They took me on Tuesday midday. On Friday night, we stopped somewhere rural. An older black woman talked to me softly though I couldn't understand what she was saying. She fed me traditional maize meal, and a beer. It was the first food or drink I had had. I had prepared myself to die, if not by their hand, at the very least from starvation and humiliation.

That night, by some miracle, I managed to gather enough strength to part chew my way out the rope, and wiggle it loose. The plan was if we drove near a crowded area, I would smash the back window and make an escape.

My plan was foiled as they placed a guard with me in the back, but luck was still on my side. They picked up a woman, a prostitute I guess, and we drove into a forest. They left the van and went into some thicker brush with her. The back door hadn't been locked, so I slipped out, hoping the keys were still in the ignition, but they weren't. I took the blanket, all the cash I could find in the front, my camera bag (NO-one takes my fn camera), and slipped away into the forest. I hid in a gulley while I heard them driving around the area, shouting threats of death if they found me.

When I was sure they were gone, it was night. I followed the sound of trucks descending a pass. I walked to the nearest town about a three hours away, staying some way from the road, afraid they may still be in the area. At a gas station on the perimeter of the town, a good samaritan took me to the police station. I called my wife. She thought I was dead.

My family drove the five hours to fetch me. A cousin lived closer, and he was there within an hour. He took me to a friend who lived in the town. I was a mess. I burnt my clothes after showering for more than half an hour. I thought of the movie Dead Man Walking, and vowed then no matter happened after that, I have a second chance. A chance to live, no longer just to amass wealth and things. A chance to live a life that mattered. A life where I could make a difference in others. A life where I mattered.

The following day, my wife and I were sitting in the waiting room waiting to see our gp so he could record my injuries for the police report - a bunch of bruises, a few minor cuts, dehydration, an allergic reaction to the tape. I said to her that my life priorities have changed.

I think that's really where we split up. I became someone different.

I went for counselling, she never did, thought it was weak, though I think it was more traumatic for her. My kids thought I was on a business trip. My counselling turned into a discussion about my sexuality. I guess something good came out of it.

So... stressing about the odd financial hiccup? meh....